Positive-thinking techniques
Some tools to help you identify your positive qualities and achievements, and manage those nagging, negative thoughts.
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Physical appearance and self-esteem are often closely linked. Our perception of how we look can have a big impact on the value we place on ourselves and how much self-confidence we have in our day-to-day lives.
Although low self-esteem can be a particular problem for people living with a visible difference, it is not fixed and there are things we can do to improve it.
On this page, we explore the effects of physical appearance on self-esteem. We also look at how you can improve your self-esteem if you are living with a visible difference or disfigurement.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the value and worth we attach to ourselves as a whole. It can be influenced by several things. One is how we feel about our appearance, also known as our body image. If we don’t like something about how we look, it is often difficult to feel good about other aspects of ourselves.
Self-esteem is often connected to self-confidence. Self-confidence is the level of trust you place in yourself to do well in a particular situation, and it can vary for all of us depending on our mood, our recent experiences or the context. For example, you might feel confident in your ability to do your job well, but less confident about socialising with work colleagues.
If your sense of self-esteem is low, it can leave you lacking in self-confidence as you approach different situations in your life.
How are physical appearance and self-esteem related?
You may find that your feelings about your physical appearance and self-esteem go hand in hand, particularly if you experience frequent negative reactions or comments. You may be familiar with being stared at every day. People may even make unkind or pointed comments.
Although this says more about others than it does about you, it can be difficult to feel confident when you frequently experience people acting thoughtlessly or unkindly. Understandably, you may fixate on these negative reactions, leading to feelings of worry, depression, distress, upset or anger, as well as apprehension that others will stare or be unkind. This can make you avoid certain situations or feel anxious about going out at all.
It’s never nice when people say unkind things about how I look. When I was younger, I used to take it really personally and feel really bad about myself. Now I’m older I just think it’s really sad that people have to say horrible things about how another person looks – they must be really miserable. Fair enough if people are curious, but what possible reason does anyone have to be that unkind to someone they don’t know?
How does self-esteem develop?
People are not born with high or low self-esteem. Self-esteem develops over time and can fluctuate. This is the same with body image – your perception of your own appearance may change over time, along with how much emphasis you place on your appearance. Feelings about our physical appearance and self-esteem are often related because we live in an image-orientated society.
Feelings of self-esteem can vary depending on whether you were born with a visible difference or disfigurement, or acquired it early in life, or experienced a change in appearance later in life.