I tell people nowadays that I’m “partly bionic, like a real-life cyborg.” However, this statement masks the physical and psychological stress I’ve experienced during my life, including how I came to have 1/3 of my skull replaced with a synthetic plate.
I’m Ajay and my story begins when I was nine years old when my mother and various doctors discovered that my head was growing in a non-concentric fashion. In the back of my head, there was an outwardly expanding lesion. Shortly after, I was diagnosed with Fibrous Dysplasia, a rare genetic bone condition characterized by bone tissue that mutates into a sponge-like, porous, and brittle texture often associated with growth.
For years, I carried on with my life normally, with my hair shielding most of the condition. However, due to its slow yet steady growth and my own growing anxiety about it, I decided in 2022 to take a gamble and agreed to an operation on the mass.
The surgery lasted 14 hours – eight hours more than anticipated – and I unfortunately suffered quite a few complications. Medically, I was fighting an infection. Cosmetically, I acquired scarring and ptosis, which is drooping of the eye lid.
Ajay acquired scarring on his scalp following the surgery
Eventually, I was able to overcome the medical complications, but ptosis became a new identity. Disappointingly, I had swapped out one insecurity for another, except now, this one was more visible. Coming to terms with my new appearance was the most challenging period of my life, as I lacked self-confidence. Some people commented that I looked “tired” or “loopy”. There was lots of regret and existential questioning of “why me?”.
I decided to take action once more to try and fix the ptosis, but the first eye surgery failed. I was gutted. My doctor told me there wasn’t much else they could do, and the hope I’d had faded.
However, I refused to give up. I found a surgeon in Spain who had pioneered a new technique that most surgeons in the UK and US weren’t performing. The downside would be that I would incur a frozen lid, or lid-lag. After carefully weighing the risk, I proceeded with the surgery. Finally, I was happy and grateful for the outcome.
Being different doesn’t stop you from making a positive impact on the world.
After my medical journey, I was struggling professionally, no longer with a job, unsure of my next step, and still accepting my new physical identity. That’s when I saw an opportunity to build something in the financial technology space and I ran with it. I had to put myself out there and pitch to investors, which was intimidating at first, but what I realised is that as long as you have confidence and can voice your story, you can achieve what you set your mind to.
For people who are finding it difficult to build their confidence, I’d consider exploring a hobby where you can challenge yourself while being surrounded by supportive and positive people. Over time, as you engage in these activities, you’ll likely notice that your peers begin to appreciate you for who you truly are – your personality, skills, and character – rather than focusing on any visible differences. This shift in perception can significantly boost your confidence and help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.
I start my story with “I’m bionic” because it’s my story to tell, and I control the narrative I portray. I wanted to share it for two reasons: 1. To let others know that they aren’t alone and that they belong. 2. To show that being different doesn’t stop you from making a positive impact on the world.
