Hello, we are Ashley and Jordan and are the parents of a wonderful little boy called Theo. We live in the Highlands with our two dogs, Pimm and Cuillin. Theo was born with a facial port wine stain that is on his nose, eyelid, forehead, scalp and the nape of his neck.
Theo is such a happy, mischievous boy. He always has a smile on his face and does everything at a million miles a minute. He loves swimming, being outside and loves a little dance around the house too. Now that he can walk, he keeps us on our toes, that’s for sure!
Theo is too young to understand the comments and looks that he has received from other people so far. But as parents, we worry about how other people’s reactions might impact his confidence and self-esteem as he gets older. We also worry about the possibility of Theo being bullied at school. Living in a time where so much pressure is put on people from a young age to look a certain way makes us worry that negative comments will change the way he sees himself. What if he starts to see his unique beauty as an issue?
We know that as Theo grows up, we can rely on the support of Changing Faces.
Theo is only one, but we’ve already had some awful comments about his birthmark. From strangers in the street making comments about him being in a fight or the ‘bruises’ on his face, to an actual medical professional saying: “it’s a good job he has that birthmark, or he’d be ‘too beautiful.’”
We constantly have to explain to people that his birthmark is not a bruise and it’s a part of what makes him so beautiful, which can be really frustrating.
But with the negatives come the positive comments, which mean a lot more to us. We get lovely comments about Theo’s bright eye and infectious smile, as well as how cute his birthmark is. Theo has also been on the front cover of the worldwide magazine Bump, Baby and Beyond, and has just had another casting call for a photoshoot for a local photography company.
When we come across people who are curious about Theo’s birthmark, we try to educate and raise awareness where we can. Staying calm and polite is essential. Theo will quickly pick up on our reactions as he starts to soak in more of the environment around him. So it’s important that we don’t react in a defensive way and in a way this shows that it’s not a big deal when people show their curiosity and having a visible difference is nothing to be ashamed of.
If you’ve just become a parent and your child has a visible difference, know that there’s support out there. We know that as Theo grows up, we can rely on the support of Changing Faces and the services they provide for children and parents, like their workshops for children and families.
It’s also important to enjoy the uniqueness of your child. Tell them how special they are and that some people are just born to stand out and make the world a brighter place. The road can be rocky, but as long as they know they are loved just the way they are; we know we are on the right track.
Having Theo and not knowing anything about port wine stain birthmarks before he was born made us realise how unaware a lot of people are of visible differences. This year, we’re taking on a running challenge to raise money for the charity – to help them continue their work to provide support and promote respect of all visible differences.
