I’m Beverley and I have a port wine stain birthmark on my cheek. When I was very young, I had laser treatment for it, but it wasn’t effective, and my birthmark remained as it was. I didn’t mind, as it had never bothered me – it was simply part of my face.
I thought adults were silly for being unaware of what a birthmark was. Their questions and comments never offended me, I was just puzzled by their lack of knowledge!
However, when I was eight years old, I did encounter some nasty bullying which made me want to have an operation to remove my birthmark. I quickly changed my mind once I got to the hospital though. I saw others with more serious issues with their marks and scars, and as my mark wasn’t causing me pain or any medical issues, I ended up reassessing the situation and decided against the surgery.
The support I had from my parents helped me to develop my own strength. They always taught me that who you are as a person is more important than how you look, and I’ve kept that message close to my heart.
Instead, I opted for skin camouflage makeup. Although I was shown how to use it, I was eight years old and too young to understand how to apply it correctly, so I would smear it on without much subtlety. People would say “Excuse me, dear, you seem to have mud on your face!” and I’d have to explain that it was my birthmark covered by makeup. I was happy though, and my parents were glad that it stopped me from demanding surgery again.
I did get better at applying makeup, and I used to wear it for work. While I didn’t mind exposing my birthmark, we are so conditioned to look a certain way that I felt I had to wear it. I was worried that if I didn’t, I’d make other people feel uncomfortable. Then I heard people talking about a “natural look” trend and I thought “that’s what I want”. I threw my makeup away and never wore it again – that was around 17 years ago. I felt so liberated.
Beverley has learnt to love herself
Self-acceptance is the key to finding your confidence. Nowadays, I refuse to be affected by other’s negativity. Even in school when I was bullied, I tried my best not to let it bother me. One boy bullied me relentlessly, and my father ended up having some strong words with him. The next day, he came to my home and apologised. Hopefully he didn’t bully anyone again after that!
The support I had from my parents helped me to develop my own strength. They always taught me that who you are as a person is more important than how you look, and I’ve kept that message close to my heart.
I’ve made it my mission to help others to find their confidence too. Seeing the happiness that people gain once they stop letting others define their worth is amazing. If I had seen someone older than me confidently living with a visible difference, maybe I never would have felt the need to remove or cover mine.
We shouldn’t have to hide who we are. By standing together and ensuring our voices are heard, the visible difference community can make change happen.
Over the years, I’ve taken part in several interviews for the BBC about my visible difference, both on the TV and radio – one of which was on behalf of Changing Faces. People would send me emails to tell me how happy they were to see me on TV, and that I’d inspired them to accept themselves as they are. For 12 years, I had a website called Love Your Mark, which allowed me to channel my thoughts creatively. I’d never thought of myself as creative, but I loved it. It opened doors for me to talk at Round Tables, Rotaries, schools and other organisations.
I hope to take part in more projects that promote self-confidence. I was the director of Angel Kiss Mentoring at US-based Birthmarks.com and head of the adult group at Birthmark Support Group, and it would be brilliant to be involved in more roles like this.
We shouldn’t have to hide who we are. By standing together and ensuring our voices are heard, the visible difference community can make change happen. When I was younger, I didn’t really understand the concept of loving yourself, but now I do, and it really is the most important thing.
