My name is Jordan – I am 30 years old and from Dublin in Ireland. I was born prematurely at just 28 weeks. My extra early entry into the world led to me having facial paralysis on the left side of my face, affecting its movement, including my smile, eye and forehead.
Growing up I felt like every other kid. I didn’t see myself as different until I was mocked at school. In my teenage years it fully hit home that I wasn’t the same as everyone else. My smile wasn’t like the rest of my family and friends. I found this realisation very difficult, and my teenage years were a very dark and tough time for me. However, they were also the years I truly learned about my condition and how to cope with it.
Jordan felt like any other child until school
I have had my fair share of stares, looks and fingers pointed at me. Even now as a 30-year-old man, I have other adults stare sometimes. Thankfully, I found confidence in my teenage years when I joined a dance school here in Dublin. Being with people my age that supported me and accepted me for who I am helped my confidence to grow. Having the ability to use dance as an outlet helped even more. Now my therapy is content creation and telling my story in the hope that others will feel less alone. Using our voices is so important.
My visible difference enabled me to gain friendships with people from all over the world while I was growing up. I still have some of those friends to this day and they have never treated me any different because of my condition, and I thank and love them for that.
If only my younger self could see me now, he wouldn’t believe what we’ve achieved.
Not everyone is quite as kind. When I was 18, I applied to work at a fast-food chain and because I noted my visible difference as a disability, my job application was denied. I reapplied and reapplied for that position about five times and every time was rejected! The only clear reason I could see was because of my visible difference. It was the first time I’d felt discriminated against.
My anxiety has been heightened at times due to the impacts of my visible difference. Sometimes I’ve been able to push through it, but other times I have had to take a back seat and find alternative coping mechanisms. I found that music and meditation really helped me. Speaking to others with similar anxieties was also a key part of how I coped, as we could lend each other tools to get through the anxious times.
The last few years have been great, especially the latter half of my twenties. I had to have double jaw surgery in November 2018, as I had a Stage 3 underbite. My top and bottom jaw was broken and set in place. The recovery was hard but so worth it – I would do it all again. I can never thank my surgeon enough. I’ve gained so much more confidence following the surgery, and it’s enabled me to soar.
Jordan’s surgery helped him to feel more confident
My best advice for people with visible differences is this: Don’t be afraid of being different, be afraid of being the same as everyone else. The more you embrace yourself, the more you will see the WHAT ARES rather than the WHAT IFS. No one can beat you at being you. You are authentic. Remember that.
I have achieved so much that I never thought I would because of my visible difference. I’m so proud of the brand I’ve created through @bornextraordinary. I also met my beautiful girlfriend Megan in 2016 and we have been together since 2017. We now live together with our little King Charles Spaniel named Toffee. We have good jobs and are also content creators – we just started a true crime/lifestyle podcast called Megajordinary. The last few years have been a wild ride, but I’m ready to see what else this journey has in store for me.
If only my younger self could see me now, he wouldn’t believe what we’ve achieved. I had so many doubts and worries about what life would hold for me because of how I looked. I wish I could tell him that he’s more than capable of attracting miracles, and that he is worthy of living a fulfilling and liberating life. Never convince yourself that you can’t do something, just go out there and be the warrior you’ve always been!
