When I was two years old, I was involved in a car fire which left me with severe burns. I’ve really struggled this year with PTSD from my accident, which can be triggered by seeing my own visible differences in the mirror and people’s reactions to me. When people stare it almost “reminds me” that I’m different, even on days when it wasn’t foremost in my mind. I’m always “the girl from the car fire”, and some days that is more difficult than others.
As a result, university was challenging this year, as I balanced a lot of mental health struggles alongside my busy schedule. For me, people always appreciated the physical struggle, but the toll facial difference takes mentally is poorly understood. People who know me well tell me they don’t notice my scars, and I love that, I love the freedom to be truly seen by those I socialise with. But that’s not true of everyone and sometimes my scars are all that people see.
My master’s course has brought me challenge and joy, friendship and hope, and community and restoration, at a time when I needed it most.
Writing my dissertation on discrimination law and facial difference has really brought together all aspects of my life into one thesis. One that I hope gives a voice to a little understood area of discrimination law, and the possible protections for that both legally and socially.
Managing university this year was made possible by my tutors fully supporting and understanding my difficulties. I think with visible difference and associated mental health challenges it can be such a different type of problem that it is outside of the everyday understanding that most people have about disability or difficulties. When people care enough to find out what your issues are, believe what you are telling them and put supports in place, it is amazing the power that can instil in your life.
I wondered at one point if I could manage to keep going with my master’s, but I’m so glad that I got help, took time when I needed it and spoke to my tutors when things were hard. My master’s course has brought me challenge and joy, friendship and hope, and community and restoration, at a time when I needed it most.
Mel celebrated her graduation with her family
I would advise anyone thinking of going to university but worrying about a visible difference to feel the fear but do it anyway. I know the concerns and questions this raises, about meeting all those new people, and wondering if you’ll fit in. However, you will find your people through common interests, joint working and shared goals. Most importantly you’ll find yourself too, including your skills, passions and future plans – some of which may surprise you, especially if you surpass the limitations you once thought you had.
Writing my dissertation opened an avenue of study that I hope to continue – to be a voice, to support a cause and most importantly to step into what I believe to be a purpose that can transform my accident into something I can use to help others like me.
My graduation was an amazing day full of joy and excitement, and that is something you can experience too. You just need to go for it!
